she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
