you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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