your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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