I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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