i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
