grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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