Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
