The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
