I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize