dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
your room smells of hookers.
And success
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
