He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
