I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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