I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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