We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
