I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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