READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
