Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
