Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
