I want to stick my p in your. b.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
