You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
