so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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