Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
well you can't waste a boner
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
