Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
