He had one of those small greek statue penises
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
