its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
