He is an equal opportunity slut.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
