dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
