How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
