I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
