He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
