i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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