eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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