Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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