ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize