Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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