How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
