please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize