why didn't you poke me back
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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