i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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