it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
