So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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