I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize