ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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