I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
