wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
