I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
