So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
