Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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