This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
