Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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