I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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