Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
