as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
