the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if only i could text you this smell
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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