May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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