she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
