since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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