a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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