Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize