He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
