How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
